We can point to historical reasons why lesbians might feel invisible. The urban myth of Queen Victoria’s failure of imagination and apparent belief that lesbian activity didn’t go on at all is only a myth but it is a fact that lesbianism wasn’t criminalised in the UK in the same way as sexual acts between men were. The fact that it was therefore not the subject of a protest movement to overturn the law, may have led to relative invisibility of that part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Popular portrayals of the gay community at the peak of the AIDS crisis often largely fail to recognise the contribution of an enormous number of lesbians who tended their dying gay male friends as surrogate chosen “family” (with a notable exception of films such as “Milk”) leading to further invisibility.

If one were to try to meet the lesbian community IRL, that’s becoming more and more tricky. Lesbian bars and community spaces have long been disappearing and “She Bar” in Soho is now the only dedicated lesbian bar left in London. Some argue that, as other spaces evolve to be more inclusive, the need for lesbian bars has diminished but nights such as “Butch, Please” at London’s Royal Vauxhall Tavern have recently stated that they are more determined than ever to preserve the unique atmosphere of their space and reserve the right to refuse entry to cis male attendees.

Do we just recoil at the word “lesbian” so people who self-identify as women who love women are reluctant to use the word? So often a playground insult, and more recently associated with disappointing transmisogyny, is it just not as palatable to mainstream society to be a lesbian than our more flamboyantly “fun” gay male counterparts? There are some who wonder whether the younger generation are rejecting the use of the word in favour of less loaded and more broadly inclusive terms like “queer”.

But the major reason for lesbian invisibility may be a safety issue. Some lesbians perform their gender in a “loud bod[ied]”, “masculine” way which challenges society’s very idea of what a “woman” looks like, and the anti-patriarchal idea that lesbians don’t need men in order to be happy gets right up in the grill of some men and has resulted in violence and abuse. We were all horrified by the 2019 London night bus attack on a lesbian couple who refused to kiss for a bunch of drunk men and Galop’s 2021 Hate Crime Report showed that two-thirds (64%) of LGBTQ+ people had experienced anti-LGBT+ violence or abuse. Is it any wonder that it might feel safer for some lesbians to try to be invisible sometimes? Even living in my gay Brighton bubble, I’ve grappled with the split-second decision when walking down the street with my fiancée as to whether to drop her hand or squeeze it tighter when approaching other street users.

This is why, this Pride Month and frankly every month, it feels that (even where some firms are making steps towards greater inclusion), there is still so much to do. Even in the UK where we arguably have it easy compared with the 70 countries where it’s still illegal to be gay.